Last night I spoke with a darling friend on the phone. And that magical question popped out again. No no not 'will u marry me?'. There's NO WAY he's gonna ask me that!! 1- He's too young for me and hell no I'm not turning into a pedofile. 2 - He's not into girls. (Sighhhh... what a waste to womenkind)
His question was (read it with a shocking-amused-disbelief tone) ' u don't drive?'
Oooooooh sheer pressure... Ok let me just say this once and forever hold my peace.
I AM LOUSY BEHIND THE WHEELS.
(and 'LOUSY' is not even enough to justify it)
Some might say naaaaah you can't be that lousy. Well I do somewhat look very smart in appearence I'm proud to say, BUT, when it comes to handle the driving machine, sadly I am a huge mess.
Hey I did take driving lessons, all the way to the driving test, which I failed miserably. Let me rephrase that, it was TRAUMATICALLY MISERABLY. No no no i didn't kill anyone during the test... Thank God it didn't end up like that, but it was really-really-really stupid you can't believe it.
First test I took was the 'on the road' test. I was assessed by this old guy, one of the JPJ officer. He was nice, chatting away as we started. Which calmed me down a lot actually. So off we went.
I was ok at first, everything's in place, looking pretty, full make-up, nice proper (but still sexy) outfit.... You bet it's important! You see, if by any chance the accessing officers fancied me, they can let me pass the tests much easier. HAH that's what I thought!
We were on the road, and I was about to overtake the car infront of me. Already I saw a lot of 'x's on my test sheet... But still the test is not over so there's still hope to impress him with some show of confidence & skills... So as I was turning the steering wheels, the officer said, "don't forget to look if there's any cars behind u, miss". And guessed what I did? Yes folks... I turned my head, and looked over my shoulder. The calm & composed officer almost screamed! And he quickly grabbed the wheels. Oooohhhh what an IDIOT I was!!! He then stopped chatting... now that he realised being a chatty person might endangered his life & so I drove us back to the driving institution in total silence.
When we reached there, my parking test was already awaiting, so the 'on the road' officer handed the test sheet to me and with one big red cross on the page. Ok fine... 2 more tests to go - parking & uphill.
When my name was called to the parking test, the 'test car' was parked randomly at the parking area. The officer was so kind enough to explain that I should reverse the car first before we begin the test. So.. I got into the car. Side mirror checked, rear mirror checked, seat adjusted, seat belt fastened. I turned the key, clutch checked, brakes checked, put the gear into reverse and press my foot onto the gass. The car didn't move. I pressed more... there's more sound but still the car didn't move. Hmmm don't panic don't panic - I told myself...
The officer was watching with the test sheet in his hand. Vroom-vrooomm the engine roared.. still the car was staying put. Yep this car needs to visit the workshop - I thought. So I waved gracefully to the watchful officer, and yelled (imagine Paris-Nicole scenes) 'there's something wrong, I think this car is broken'.... He walked over, peered his head through window, and extended his hand towards the hand brake and pushed it down.... Uffffffffffffffffffffffff!!!! Just one look from him and I know I will get the big red cross mark again. I just grinned and took it like a real chic... Mann...
I went home that day with a huge TRAUMA embedded in my brain.
I don't think I want to go through that anymore. Leave me alone :D