I was watching 'The Joyluck Club' movie actually trying to force out some tears. Been a sad month and just need to let out really. And usually at least one of the many sad scenes would teared me up quite easily.
Waiting.. and waiting... one sad scene to the next. No welled up feelings. No tears.
I thought ah well. I'd probably became too used of watching this movie it couldn't do anything to me anymore.
But I finished watching it anyway.
Just when the movie is coming to and end, where there's this least sad scene when this lady eventually met her 2 long lost big sisters.. when it came to that part of the family hugging.. I started to well up and cry.
They found home in each other. That touched me. And that is my real problem. I am not at home anywhere, metaphorically, ofcourse.
I then thought of going to Malaysia next year for eid. But who would I celebrate eid with? Not my ex... Although I know he would not mind... It would still be too awkward.
Then I thought of the 'almost-a-relationship' that I just had to let go. I'd probably finally at home somewhere to celebrate eid next year should I had not let go. But wait... Would I be happy forcing myself into something that would make me wrinkle my forehead with worries, just for the sake having some company? Ofcourse I should not. Hence that decision was a right one.
Was I sad letting go?
That's why I watched that movie.
Questions and answers. But there's no definite conclusion. Not yet.
Uff need to get out of this loop I am in.
Friday, August 28, 2015
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
HOME
I know I am not there.
Since Mak & Abah gone, I don't feel at home anywhere.
Not KL. Not Rawang. Definitely not Dubai.
I don't even know if it will be Langkawi - though I am making plans.
Heat of summer is increasing. Ramadan will be here soon. And of course Eid.
And now is the time of the year when that miserable thought of 'where do I go' came rushing in.
My girls? They are at home alright. I am their 'home' (maybe their 'sun & moon' too). At least there's something magical there still.(a smile and Alhamdulillah)
It is true that HOME IS WHERE YOUR HEART IS.
I guess my heart is not anywhere then. Sigh.
Since Mak & Abah gone, I don't feel at home anywhere.
Not KL. Not Rawang. Definitely not Dubai.
I don't even know if it will be Langkawi - though I am making plans.
Heat of summer is increasing. Ramadan will be here soon. And of course Eid.
And now is the time of the year when that miserable thought of 'where do I go' came rushing in.
My girls? They are at home alright. I am their 'home' (maybe their 'sun & moon' too). At least there's something magical there still.(a smile and Alhamdulillah)
It is true that HOME IS WHERE YOUR HEART IS.
I guess my heart is not anywhere then. Sigh.
Friday, May 11, 2012
rewards
I woke up at 5am this morning as usual... thinking hard of what to make for breakfast and the girls' lunch-pack. And the trip to Abu Dhabi. And the crappy site office. And the vicious heat of summer. And the meeting at Karama that I have to attend after work. And the shop drawings I have to mark. And the still unfinished drawings that's nearing deadline. And the sketches I have to do that I have to send to the draughtsman. Oooh the list went on & on!
Then Marsya emerged from the room, already dressed in her school uniform. She began to clean the last night's dishes, as she does every morning. Alya woke up shortly after, and asked if she could have scramble eggs for the lunch pack. Of course - I told her, and start to look for the milk in the fridge. (I usually add a bit of milk to the eggs - it tastes nicer that way). We were out of milk - great.
Not a reason at all to get upset, but I did... adding up to the list of worries I had earlier. NOT gonna be a good morning - I thought.
Then Marsya started cleaning the lunch-boxes. Alya's one was still full of yesterday's pasta. I questioned the sleepy girl why didn't she eat the pasta, and she told me one of her friends shared his food with her. ANOTHER reason not to get upset - but I was fuming. I yelled at her telling the 8 years old how tired I was preparing food that she never ate. She shed some little tears... and went to her room obediently to get ready for school.
Then for some reason my eyes went focused to the dusty breakfast counter. I told Marsya to wipe it off. She did it, ofcourse not perfectly, but of course AGAIN not a reason to get upset but I, almost yelling - told her to clean it properly and don't try to make me scream. She spent 10 minutes wiping the counter shiny, and I don't know why I was so annoyed by that, I, almost yelling again, told her that she should not spend 'hours' on the counter alone.
The girls were quiet on the breakfast table, and I went to get ready. As I was rushing out the door, Alya showed me 'the crescent moon' she made with the paratha on her plate. I kissed her on the head and told her how pretty it was.
That she said the sweetest thing ....
"Mama, you know the green tea-bag tag, it's written there - 'after work, take a bubble bath so you will feel relaxed'..."
A tip for me ya'ani.
Unlike my ex-husband or my ex-boyfriends - she UNDERSTANDS.
Later I reached Abu Dhabi and realized I didn't leave the empty drinking water bottle outside for the water delivery guy. Argh so there would be no drinking water for us for whole the next week - I thought. It's not the end of the world, 1 week of tap water won't do any harm but I was so annoyed with myself & getting super upset. Fuming fuming fuming. And work stress was not helping either.
Come late afternoon I called home to check on the girls, and Marsya picked up the phone and told me she used 10aed from the money I left them to pay for the water delivery. So there will be drinking water supply for us. What a clever, clever girl.
I under estimated her. She is a very mature, smart, independent and responsible young lady. Much more than me.
I am so blessed.
Do I deserve it? After all the yelling and breaking their innocent little hearts earlier... I don't think so.
This weekend, I will behave and be a good mama.
Then Marsya emerged from the room, already dressed in her school uniform. She began to clean the last night's dishes, as she does every morning. Alya woke up shortly after, and asked if she could have scramble eggs for the lunch pack. Of course - I told her, and start to look for the milk in the fridge. (I usually add a bit of milk to the eggs - it tastes nicer that way). We were out of milk - great.
Not a reason at all to get upset, but I did... adding up to the list of worries I had earlier. NOT gonna be a good morning - I thought.
Then Marsya started cleaning the lunch-boxes. Alya's one was still full of yesterday's pasta. I questioned the sleepy girl why didn't she eat the pasta, and she told me one of her friends shared his food with her. ANOTHER reason not to get upset - but I was fuming. I yelled at her telling the 8 years old how tired I was preparing food that she never ate. She shed some little tears... and went to her room obediently to get ready for school.
Then for some reason my eyes went focused to the dusty breakfast counter. I told Marsya to wipe it off. She did it, ofcourse not perfectly, but of course AGAIN not a reason to get upset but I, almost yelling - told her to clean it properly and don't try to make me scream. She spent 10 minutes wiping the counter shiny, and I don't know why I was so annoyed by that, I, almost yelling again, told her that she should not spend 'hours' on the counter alone.
The girls were quiet on the breakfast table, and I went to get ready. As I was rushing out the door, Alya showed me 'the crescent moon' she made with the paratha on her plate. I kissed her on the head and told her how pretty it was.
That she said the sweetest thing ....
"Mama, you know the green tea-bag tag, it's written there - 'after work, take a bubble bath so you will feel relaxed'..."
A tip for me ya'ani.
Unlike my ex-husband or my ex-boyfriends - she UNDERSTANDS.
Later I reached Abu Dhabi and realized I didn't leave the empty drinking water bottle outside for the water delivery guy. Argh so there would be no drinking water for us for whole the next week - I thought. It's not the end of the world, 1 week of tap water won't do any harm but I was so annoyed with myself & getting super upset. Fuming fuming fuming. And work stress was not helping either.
Come late afternoon I called home to check on the girls, and Marsya picked up the phone and told me she used 10aed from the money I left them to pay for the water delivery. So there will be drinking water supply for us. What a clever, clever girl.
I under estimated her. She is a very mature, smart, independent and responsible young lady. Much more than me.
I am so blessed.
Do I deserve it? After all the yelling and breaking their innocent little hearts earlier... I don't think so.
This weekend, I will behave and be a good mama.
Monday, October 17, 2011
words that heals
she : sometimes I just feel that what would happen if I just stop
she : stop fighting
she : stop living
she : just STOP
she : what will happen?
he : the world will miss out :)
she : that's nice but I dont care about the world
he : lol
she : :)
she : stop fighting
she : stop living
she : just STOP
she : what will happen?
he : the world will miss out :)
she : that's nice but I dont care about the world
he : lol
she : :)
Sunday, October 2, 2011
A plate of Pulut, a bowl of Rendang.
Suddenly this morning I remembered Abah and one story that he told me long time ago. I think it's because of Othman's birthday today (well he is the Abah to my girls), so probably my mind is doing that 'synonym' thoughts.
Abah's story goes like this.
When he was very very small, about 5 or 6 years old, my grandpa sent him to learn to read Quran with one lady in his village. This lady was already middle aged & was never married, and she taught Quran to a few other children from that village as well.
From the very beginning, she was being so tough on him. The poor little guy always need to pronounced clearer, always have to read loudest, and always have to finish last.... as such. Only him. Not the other boys and girls. And he was to be seated separately from the rest of the children. He started to hate this lady. He thought she is picking on him for no apparent reason at all.
But being an obedient village boy who was taught to love his religion (God bless his soul), he never retaliated. Even at that very young age, he was very patient and swallowed it all.
Untill one day, the lady wanted to celebrate a religious day, wasn't sure if it was Ramadan, or Eid, or Maulid Al Rasul.... well one of those. So she prepared some very festive traditional food (pulut kuning, rendang and boiled eggs). Everyone was anxious to finish their Quran reading that day to enjoy the food right after. You see, where my Abah came from, those food was a rare luxury.
Time to eat, and the children gathered around the lady to get their share. My Abah was front in line but the lady just went passed him and was passing the food only to the other children. He started became impatient and start to gesture his hand towards the next passed plate, and the lady slapped his hand away and glared !!! He was dumbfounded, withdrew, went back to sit at his usual spot and started to cry.
After she done with the rest of the children, she called out his name, "Mohd Zain, come sit next to me". But his little heart was already broken, he was staring at the wall, crying and won't budge. He even attempted some little kick to the wall to show protest.
Then he heard her approaching him, and put something on the floor where he sat. Sounded heavy. When he turned, to his pleasant surprise, in front of him was tray with a big special arrangement of food for two... pulut, rendang, boiled eggs ... and looking so much grander than the rest. And there she was, with a sweet motherly smile.
Still with tears streaming down his cheeks, they ate the food together.
Abah was telling me the story with a little chuckle every now and then, thinking about how silly it was. But I was thinking of that middle-aged childless lady all the time .... and how big her love to my Abah ... although she had a funny way of showing it :)
God bless her soul. God bless them all.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
the real life, bonafide MAGIC
Last night my little Alya was unusually quiet... it was a very bad tooth ache. So I rushed her to the nearest dentist, and the very nice dentist (who treated her for free - which is so unusual in Dubai) told us that the last 2 baby molars is becoming loose and somehow it inflamed her gums - hence the pain. He gave her some anesthetic jab and told us to just wait till both teeth came off naturally.
She was happy again when we stepped out from the clinic, and ofcourse knowing her, now she's already the 'best-of-friends' with the dentist, she even suggested we should visit the nice dentist again :)
Anyways.... after midnight, she woke me up, couldn't sleep. The aenesthetic worn off and she was in a great deal of pain again. She lied down in my bed and I know that it's going to be a very long night...
I rubbed some ointment onto her cheek & massaged it lightly.. The pain wouldn't go. She tossed & turned & cried a little bit... I gave her paracetamoll syrup, still the pain is there. I actually told her "mama really don't know what else to do". She just closed her eyes and held my arms. I felt so helpless.
It was almost sunrise when I remembered a trick. It never failed before with Marsya & Dania. Well, Marsya & Dania never had one single tooth ache in their lives... but, if it worked on scratches & bruises, it better damn well work on the tooth ache.
So I told her softly "Mama will blow the pain away ok? After mama blow, the pain will be gone". She nodded.
And I blew some little prayers softly to her cheeks.
Swear to God ~ shortly after that she fell asleep.
It could be the paracetamol that's finally working, or the the constant rubbing on the cheek, or the medicated ointment, or she was just simply tired.
But maybe, just maybe, there's MAGIC in my healing tecnique, a mother's love, and a child's pure faith.
She was happy again when we stepped out from the clinic, and ofcourse knowing her, now she's already the 'best-of-friends' with the dentist, she even suggested we should visit the nice dentist again :)
Anyways.... after midnight, she woke me up, couldn't sleep. The aenesthetic worn off and she was in a great deal of pain again. She lied down in my bed and I know that it's going to be a very long night...
I rubbed some ointment onto her cheek & massaged it lightly.. The pain wouldn't go. She tossed & turned & cried a little bit... I gave her paracetamoll syrup, still the pain is there. I actually told her "mama really don't know what else to do". She just closed her eyes and held my arms. I felt so helpless.
It was almost sunrise when I remembered a trick. It never failed before with Marsya & Dania. Well, Marsya & Dania never had one single tooth ache in their lives... but, if it worked on scratches & bruises, it better damn well work on the tooth ache.
So I told her softly "Mama will blow the pain away ok? After mama blow, the pain will be gone". She nodded.
And I blew some little prayers softly to her cheeks.
Swear to God ~ shortly after that she fell asleep.
It could be the paracetamol that's finally working, or the the constant rubbing on the cheek, or the medicated ointment, or she was just simply tired.
But maybe, just maybe, there's MAGIC in my healing tecnique, a mother's love, and a child's pure faith.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Why, u think u better?
I was often caught in a situation whereby I am in a middle of 2 friends criticizing each other. And I'm telling u it's not fun at all. Usually I would just keep my face shut and be oblivious of whats happening. This act we call it - playing dumb. Or another word - bimbo. Better that way, otherwise the risk of getting asked to pick a side is greater. No smart-people-making-their-points want a bimbo on their side, they rather have all the smart people in their imaginary territory.
I prefer to escape the 'what do u think, Rod' question.U see, the way i see it, who are u really to criticized other people's ways or their lives. Because to them, your ways & your life is not ideal either. So stop with all this energy wasting argument and just accept that people just love the way they living their lives, and ONLY give your oh-so-precious opinions IF u're asked to. Yea yea yea you are criticizing out of your oh-so-good intentions, but c'mon... Who are we kidding here... You just want to feel smart, sah? I'm being too kind.. Let me re-phrase that. You want others to see you as a smart person - yes that's more like it. Hmph.
It's quite easy really. Relax. Just accept each other. If they failed or fell and cried, lend a shoulder. The way I see it, u benefit being a nicer compassionate person, and they benefit lessons from their mistakes. Isn't that better in a way?
I am living a simple life in my own little world and u are exactly doing the same. "Complicated" is when we start looking into others'...
I'd just realized I am criticizing too. P E A C E .
I prefer to escape the 'what do u think, Rod' question.U see, the way i see it, who are u really to criticized other people's ways or their lives. Because to them, your ways & your life is not ideal either. So stop with all this energy wasting argument and just accept that people just love the way they living their lives, and ONLY give your oh-so-precious opinions IF u're asked to. Yea yea yea you are criticizing out of your oh-so-good intentions, but c'mon... Who are we kidding here... You just want to feel smart, sah? I'm being too kind.. Let me re-phrase that. You want others to see you as a smart person - yes that's more like it. Hmph.
It's quite easy really. Relax. Just accept each other. If they failed or fell and cried, lend a shoulder. The way I see it, u benefit being a nicer compassionate person, and they benefit lessons from their mistakes. Isn't that better in a way?
I am living a simple life in my own little world and u are exactly doing the same. "Complicated" is when we start looking into others'...
I'd just realized I am criticizing too. P E A C E .
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I am back.. hope I stay :)
Wallahi I have been ignoring this blog more than a year. What happened to me?
I am still around. Still the emotional (but very cheeful) wreck. Ha ha. No I am never a wreck. I am the jolly person that you good people will always love. Love y'all too. Big hug.
So what have I been up too for the past one year and 2 months?
Can't tell y'all much really, I've not been my smart self. Had my foolish moments last year, loads of them. And when I am not being my smart self, I will not be inspired to write. Hence, the neglected blog. Sigh.
Anyways, we picked ourselves up and we recovered and we move on yea? And that's the only way to go I guess. No use looking back and regret. It's good to look back and learn though. How cliche. But it's the truth.
Ok enough of the philosophy. So what had happened last year? Hmm it was quite an adventure. How do you good people say it? Roller coaster ride? Yea something like that. I have been single again at a (supposed to be) very mature age. So I was back in the dating scene. I am suppose to be very wise rite? Nope... sorry to disappoint y'all. Eventually I had my heart broken a few times. No big deal (yea rite). We talking about feelings & emotions here so it was somewhat a big deal actually but I kept myself busy & distracted. Cried some but quickly laughed again. And I lost a few friends ... no they didn't die, I just think they are not worth to be friends with anymore - that's very dark and mean of me - I KNOW.... But I made new acquaintances as well.
Somewhere early last year I stalked a girl in facebook and we became close friends now. (Zy, I hope you are reading this). It took her a few weeks to respond to my message. She must've thought I am psycho-stalker or something. We met, and clicked. Then she started to introduce me to her circle of friends and I love every lovely people in the group. And how they love to eat!! So most of the weekends we would meet up for MAKAN TIME. The happiest & most satisfying moments of our lives :)
Uffff I can feel all the jeans shrinking now.
Yea I am in a big denial - yet again.
I am still around. Still the emotional (but very cheeful) wreck. Ha ha. No I am never a wreck. I am the jolly person that you good people will always love. Love y'all too. Big hug.
So what have I been up too for the past one year and 2 months?
Can't tell y'all much really, I've not been my smart self. Had my foolish moments last year, loads of them. And when I am not being my smart self, I will not be inspired to write. Hence, the neglected blog. Sigh.
Anyways, we picked ourselves up and we recovered and we move on yea? And that's the only way to go I guess. No use looking back and regret. It's good to look back and learn though. How cliche. But it's the truth.
Ok enough of the philosophy. So what had happened last year? Hmm it was quite an adventure. How do you good people say it? Roller coaster ride? Yea something like that. I have been single again at a (supposed to be) very mature age. So I was back in the dating scene. I am suppose to be very wise rite? Nope... sorry to disappoint y'all. Eventually I had my heart broken a few times. No big deal (yea rite). We talking about feelings & emotions here so it was somewhat a big deal actually but I kept myself busy & distracted. Cried some but quickly laughed again. And I lost a few friends ... no they didn't die, I just think they are not worth to be friends with anymore - that's very dark and mean of me - I KNOW.... But I made new acquaintances as well.
Somewhere early last year I stalked a girl in facebook and we became close friends now. (Zy, I hope you are reading this). It took her a few weeks to respond to my message. She must've thought I am psycho-stalker or something. We met, and clicked. Then she started to introduce me to her circle of friends and I love every lovely people in the group. And how they love to eat!! So most of the weekends we would meet up for MAKAN TIME. The happiest & most satisfying moments of our lives :)
Uffff I can feel all the jeans shrinking now.
Yea I am in a big denial - yet again.
Friday, January 8, 2010
My Wish
Been a while since my last entry.. well life been hectic for me as I am opening a new chapter in my life ... Now that I am officially single again...
To tell you the truth, it doesn't feel at all different from the previous one year and a half, of course it's just a matter of putting it all written & signed. However I do feel somewhat relieved, I am sure he feels the same way too and I am very happy for him. We really parted as good friends... I will still care for him for the rest of our lives that's for sure.
I will not lie about feeling sad about it... it's flesh & blood inside yea, not stone... The night we had the deed done, I had a horrible nightmare where I was in a very dark place, squatting on the floor and sobbing... and that was all the dream was. I woke up the next morning with a little pain in my chest, the proof that I actually cried in my sleep.
Most of my close ones know that I seldom cry, I find it hard to, I mean it will take a whole lot to make me, so I guessed all the pent-up sadness was unconsciously released while I was sleeping.
At this very transition moments, I thought of one of my favourite song from The Rascal Flatts, it just talked to me as I how wanted to talk to all of you that I love... and that I had left behind.
My Wish
I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
To tell you the truth, it doesn't feel at all different from the previous one year and a half, of course it's just a matter of putting it all written & signed. However I do feel somewhat relieved, I am sure he feels the same way too and I am very happy for him. We really parted as good friends... I will still care for him for the rest of our lives that's for sure.
I will not lie about feeling sad about it... it's flesh & blood inside yea, not stone... The night we had the deed done, I had a horrible nightmare where I was in a very dark place, squatting on the floor and sobbing... and that was all the dream was. I woke up the next morning with a little pain in my chest, the proof that I actually cried in my sleep.
Most of my close ones know that I seldom cry, I find it hard to, I mean it will take a whole lot to make me, so I guessed all the pent-up sadness was unconsciously released while I was sleeping.
At this very transition moments, I thought of one of my favourite song from The Rascal Flatts, it just talked to me as I how wanted to talk to all of you that I love... and that I had left behind.
My Wish
I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with a choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walking till you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile...
But more than anything...
More than anything...
My wish for you
Is that life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big
Your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out getting where you're getting to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And want the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish...
I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you in the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get
Oh you find God's grace in every mistake
And you always give more then you take
Oh more than anything...
Yeah and more than anything............
To all whom I love, pray I stay strong.
You know who u are...
To all whom I love, pray I stay strong.
You know who u are...
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
So I translated...
A non-Malay friend insisted that I should translate the poem I wrote for my girls quite sometime ago (entry titled "So I replied"). Dunno if it will sound as good in English though...
So here goes..
MY LIFE
My children
The light in my eyes
My heart
My ease of sorrow
My children
My breath
My soul
My heartbeat
My children
Your every thoughts
Your every longings
Your every prayers
Gift of courage for me
So here goes..
MY LIFE
My children
The light in my eyes
My heart
My ease of sorrow
My children
My breath
My soul
My heartbeat
My children
Your every thoughts
Your every longings
Your every prayers
Gift of courage for me
Monday, June 15, 2009
BLOODY MURDER
I feel like kicking my colleague's ass today. Or rather his head. He went on and on about women and their manipulative complicated ways. Yes as if I can't say the same about men.
I snapped. I gestured a very bad sign to his face and tell him to (beep)-off. I was not thinking at all and words coming out from me like bullets from machine-gun. I told him (if he think trying to look hot is just one of the evil ways for women to provoke men, then) he should come to the office in his (beep)-ing pajamas. I said if he can say 1000 negative things about women, I can say the same about men.
He snapped also. He raised his voice. He asked me why am I so upset. I anticipated his next sentence would be "is it because you cannot take the truth?" But before he could utter anymore provocations, I retorted with a question "why do you have to bring this up again & again?" I told him to stop it because "NO ONE LIKES IT INCLUDING YOURSELF".
See, he's not the first man who spoke of women regarding MARS VS VENUS matters. But he's doing it in a much provoking way. As if he was asking for someone to argue back. Maybe no one dare to argue before, and he's probably enjoying this. He said he's just sharing his point of views. But yea a little diplomacy wouldn't hurt. He needs to get it into his head that this will be a never ending argument. No one will win - if winning is what he's craving for.
I have to say I would love to talk about the bad things about men during my every pass time. To every detail. As deep as possible. To the very core. But why do I have to do that? The more I talk about men and their lack of perfection the more it would smack me back in the face. I mean we need each other don't we? Why can't we just focus on the positive side of the opposite sex?
There's a Chinese proverb saying "if you are pointing one finger to another, there's three other fingers pointing back at you".
And so vice-versa.
Well the next time he want to do it again he might want to check if I am in audible range, for it was a very ugly situation we had momentarily ago - which even I can't stand it myself. I don't think anyone else could too.
Must remind myself not to snap anymore... hate the "aftertaste" :(
I snapped. I gestured a very bad sign to his face and tell him to (beep)-off. I was not thinking at all and words coming out from me like bullets from machine-gun. I told him (if he think trying to look hot is just one of the evil ways for women to provoke men, then) he should come to the office in his (beep)-ing pajamas. I said if he can say 1000 negative things about women, I can say the same about men.
He snapped also. He raised his voice. He asked me why am I so upset. I anticipated his next sentence would be "is it because you cannot take the truth?" But before he could utter anymore provocations, I retorted with a question "why do you have to bring this up again & again?" I told him to stop it because "NO ONE LIKES IT INCLUDING YOURSELF".
See, he's not the first man who spoke of women regarding MARS VS VENUS matters. But he's doing it in a much provoking way. As if he was asking for someone to argue back. Maybe no one dare to argue before, and he's probably enjoying this. He said he's just sharing his point of views. But yea a little diplomacy wouldn't hurt. He needs to get it into his head that this will be a never ending argument. No one will win - if winning is what he's craving for.
I have to say I would love to talk about the bad things about men during my every pass time. To every detail. As deep as possible. To the very core. But why do I have to do that? The more I talk about men and their lack of perfection the more it would smack me back in the face. I mean we need each other don't we? Why can't we just focus on the positive side of the opposite sex?
There's a Chinese proverb saying "if you are pointing one finger to another, there's three other fingers pointing back at you".
And so vice-versa.
Well the next time he want to do it again he might want to check if I am in audible range, for it was a very ugly situation we had momentarily ago - which even I can't stand it myself. I don't think anyone else could too.
Must remind myself not to snap anymore... hate the "aftertaste" :(
Thursday, June 11, 2009
an extension to a Great Read
I was reading for the hundredth time, one of my favorite article in my bff's blog titled "beauty with brain?"... And I smiled & laughed the same way every time. I was enjoying her ways of sharp wit, subtle sarcasm & her ironic "a-matter-of-fact-ly" point of view. Somehow it reflects on me, on both of us, and maybe the majority of us too.
This is to concur her point of view.
However this has got nothing to do with having a brain at all...
A few moons ago I get to know a very pretty, sexy, well educated bright girl in her early twenties. Sadly that is all of her good traits. The rest of her is rude, nasty, mean, lazy, spend-thrift, and most of all SELFISH. With a big dash of DIVA attitude.
But yet... she is larger than life POPULAR. I am telling you most of the guys I know WANT her.
Ok I have to admit I am wrong about the lazy part... She actually worked extremely hard on her 'HOT METER'.. Why, even going to the measly grocery store downstairs she need to be in full make-up... This girl would spend a king's ransom just to look glamorous. Hair, pedicure, manicure, spa, gym, slimming products, lingerie, perfumes, clothes, shoes, cosmetics, jeweleries, accessories... you name it. The way she's spending on clothes - uufff I bet you if she started wearing that first dress in her wardrobe in the beginning of the year, and wear different clothes everyday for the rest of the year, she would only come back to the first dress probably by the beginning of next year!!
My bff definitely hits bull's-eye on the HOT METER fact. It needs to be at BOILING point. The "visual creatures" that we hate to love just need to get a whiff of it and bam! you nailed them.
So.. not only that you don't need a brain, goodness-gracious you can be a BITCH too!!
Good luck on the hunting spree...
This is to concur her point of view.
However this has got nothing to do with having a brain at all...
A few moons ago I get to know a very pretty, sexy, well educated bright girl in her early twenties. Sadly that is all of her good traits. The rest of her is rude, nasty, mean, lazy, spend-thrift, and most of all SELFISH. With a big dash of DIVA attitude.
But yet... she is larger than life POPULAR. I am telling you most of the guys I know WANT her.
Ok I have to admit I am wrong about the lazy part... She actually worked extremely hard on her 'HOT METER'.. Why, even going to the measly grocery store downstairs she need to be in full make-up... This girl would spend a king's ransom just to look glamorous. Hair, pedicure, manicure, spa, gym, slimming products, lingerie, perfumes, clothes, shoes, cosmetics, jeweleries, accessories... you name it. The way she's spending on clothes - uufff I bet you if she started wearing that first dress in her wardrobe in the beginning of the year, and wear different clothes everyday for the rest of the year, she would only come back to the first dress probably by the beginning of next year!!
My bff definitely hits bull's-eye on the HOT METER fact. It needs to be at BOILING point. The "visual creatures" that we hate to love just need to get a whiff of it and bam! you nailed them.
So.. not only that you don't need a brain, goodness-gracious you can be a BITCH too!!
Good luck on the hunting spree...
Monday, February 23, 2009
Such a RIOT!
Last night I spoke with a darling friend on the phone. And that magical question popped out again. No no not 'will u marry me?'. There's NO WAY he's gonna ask me that!! 1- He's too young for me and hell no I'm not turning into a pedofile. 2 - He's not into girls. (Sighhhh... what a waste to womenkind)
His question was (read it with a shocking-amused-disbelief tone) ' u don't drive?'
Oooooooh sheer pressure... Ok let me just say this once and forever hold my peace.
I AM LOUSY BEHIND THE WHEELS.
(and 'LOUSY' is not even enough to justify it)
Some might say naaaaah you can't be that lousy. Well I do somewhat look very smart in appearence I'm proud to say, BUT, when it comes to handle the driving machine, sadly I am a huge mess.
Hey I did take driving lessons, all the way to the driving test, which I failed miserably. Let me rephrase that, it was TRAUMATICALLY MISERABLY. No no no i didn't kill anyone during the test... Thank God it didn't end up like that, but it was really-really-really stupid you can't believe it.
First test I took was the 'on the road' test. I was assessed by this old guy, one of the JPJ officer. He was nice, chatting away as we started. Which calmed me down a lot actually. So off we went.
I was ok at first, everything's in place, looking pretty, full make-up, nice proper (but still sexy) outfit.... You bet it's important! You see, if by any chance the accessing officers fancied me, they can let me pass the tests much easier. HAH that's what I thought!
We were on the road, and I was about to overtake the car infront of me. Already I saw a lot of 'x's on my test sheet... But still the test is not over so there's still hope to impress him with some show of confidence & skills... So as I was turning the steering wheels, the officer said, "don't forget to look if there's any cars behind u, miss". And guessed what I did? Yes folks... I turned my head, and looked over my shoulder. The calm & composed officer almost screamed! And he quickly grabbed the wheels. Oooohhhh what an IDIOT I was!!! He then stopped chatting... now that he realised being a chatty person might endangered his life & so I drove us back to the driving institution in total silence.
When we reached there, my parking test was already awaiting, so the 'on the road' officer handed the test sheet to me and with one big red cross on the page. Ok fine... 2 more tests to go - parking & uphill.
When my name was called to the parking test, the 'test car' was parked randomly at the parking area. The officer was so kind enough to explain that I should reverse the car first before we begin the test. So.. I got into the car. Side mirror checked, rear mirror checked, seat adjusted, seat belt fastened. I turned the key, clutch checked, brakes checked, put the gear into reverse and press my foot onto the gass. The car didn't move. I pressed more... there's more sound but still the car didn't move. Hmmm don't panic don't panic - I told myself...
The officer was watching with the test sheet in his hand. Vroom-vrooomm the engine roared.. still the car was staying put. Yep this car needs to visit the workshop - I thought. So I waved gracefully to the watchful officer, and yelled (imagine Paris-Nicole scenes) 'there's something wrong, I think this car is broken'.... He walked over, peered his head through window, and extended his hand towards the hand brake and pushed it down.... Uffffffffffffffffffffffff!!!! Just one look from him and I know I will get the big red cross mark again. I just grinned and took it like a real chic... Mann...
I went home that day with a huge TRAUMA embedded in my brain.
I don't think I want to go through that anymore. Leave me alone :D
His question was (read it with a shocking-amused-disbelief tone) ' u don't drive?'
Oooooooh sheer pressure... Ok let me just say this once and forever hold my peace.
I AM LOUSY BEHIND THE WHEELS.
(and 'LOUSY' is not even enough to justify it)
Some might say naaaaah you can't be that lousy. Well I do somewhat look very smart in appearence I'm proud to say, BUT, when it comes to handle the driving machine, sadly I am a huge mess.
Hey I did take driving lessons, all the way to the driving test, which I failed miserably. Let me rephrase that, it was TRAUMATICALLY MISERABLY. No no no i didn't kill anyone during the test... Thank God it didn't end up like that, but it was really-really-really stupid you can't believe it.
First test I took was the 'on the road' test. I was assessed by this old guy, one of the JPJ officer. He was nice, chatting away as we started. Which calmed me down a lot actually. So off we went.
I was ok at first, everything's in place, looking pretty, full make-up, nice proper (but still sexy) outfit.... You bet it's important! You see, if by any chance the accessing officers fancied me, they can let me pass the tests much easier. HAH that's what I thought!
We were on the road, and I was about to overtake the car infront of me. Already I saw a lot of 'x's on my test sheet... But still the test is not over so there's still hope to impress him with some show of confidence & skills... So as I was turning the steering wheels, the officer said, "don't forget to look if there's any cars behind u, miss". And guessed what I did? Yes folks... I turned my head, and looked over my shoulder. The calm & composed officer almost screamed! And he quickly grabbed the wheels. Oooohhhh what an IDIOT I was!!! He then stopped chatting... now that he realised being a chatty person might endangered his life & so I drove us back to the driving institution in total silence.
When we reached there, my parking test was already awaiting, so the 'on the road' officer handed the test sheet to me and with one big red cross on the page. Ok fine... 2 more tests to go - parking & uphill.
When my name was called to the parking test, the 'test car' was parked randomly at the parking area. The officer was so kind enough to explain that I should reverse the car first before we begin the test. So.. I got into the car. Side mirror checked, rear mirror checked, seat adjusted, seat belt fastened. I turned the key, clutch checked, brakes checked, put the gear into reverse and press my foot onto the gass. The car didn't move. I pressed more... there's more sound but still the car didn't move. Hmmm don't panic don't panic - I told myself...
The officer was watching with the test sheet in his hand. Vroom-vrooomm the engine roared.. still the car was staying put. Yep this car needs to visit the workshop - I thought. So I waved gracefully to the watchful officer, and yelled (imagine Paris-Nicole scenes) 'there's something wrong, I think this car is broken'.... He walked over, peered his head through window, and extended his hand towards the hand brake and pushed it down.... Uffffffffffffffffffffffff!!!! Just one look from him and I know I will get the big red cross mark again. I just grinned and took it like a real chic... Mann...
I went home that day with a huge TRAUMA embedded in my brain.
I don't think I want to go through that anymore. Leave me alone :D
Sunday, February 22, 2009
That candle light kinda love
22nd Feb was my Abah's birthday. If he is still around, he will be 72 this year. And Mak's birthday is coming in 3 days time, on the 25th Feb. They were so close to each other even their birthdays just 3 days apart. Maybe match-made in heaven.
I'd love to reminisce how they were with each other, as how I saw it for the first 25 years of my life...
Abah & Mak was never the affectionate type, well not openly, I saw him once or twice peck her on the cheek when I was very small, and I became so noticeably jealous and remembered they will together laughed about it.
Their love for each other shown in different language. For instance she would warned us not to bug or ask anything from him when he came back from work... the warning was so strongly put that we obeyed it religiously. We will eat our meals first, because usually he would be home after dinner time, but before we ate, she would scoop a portion first and put it neatly aside especially for him. As he reached home, even though she already ate, she would sit in front of him throughout his meal. Entertaining him with small talks, even jokes. Perfect meal every time, how the table was set, food to his taste. Everyday without fail. I don't remember hearing him complaining. He was her KING.
She passed away when I was 25. And he was very sick at the time, his kidney failed 6 months before. The day she left us I cried hysterically. I couldn't stop crying for the whole week. But Abah, he was cool. Didn't shed single tear. In my midst of grief I thought, hmm... he's a cold one.
Some of y'all may not know, that whenever there's death in the house, we Malay people won't be doing any cooking, at least for a few days. Meals will be given to us by our neighbours, or even we get take-outs. I am not sure if this is by religion or tradition, but I followed it anyway. By the 4th day after her demise, I made us lunch. It was some kind of a whole-fish dish.
He was staring at the food... And said...
"the most thing that I would remember of your Mak was the way she served my every meal. You know, this fish, she would always separate the bones and pile it into my plate while I am eating..."
And he burst out crying. We spent the whole lunch time that afternoon crying at the dining table... and oh how I regretted thinking of him as cold before when actually the sadness that you couldn't ever imagine was eating him from inside.
Yes, she was ultimately his PERFECT WIFE.
He followed her about 6 months after. Somehow I knew in my heart he couldn't go on without her. Sadly I was expecting it.
Happy Birthday Mak & Abah, Al-Fatihah and prayers to you both.
I'd love to reminisce how they were with each other, as how I saw it for the first 25 years of my life...
Abah & Mak was never the affectionate type, well not openly, I saw him once or twice peck her on the cheek when I was very small, and I became so noticeably jealous and remembered they will together laughed about it.
Their love for each other shown in different language. For instance she would warned us not to bug or ask anything from him when he came back from work... the warning was so strongly put that we obeyed it religiously. We will eat our meals first, because usually he would be home after dinner time, but before we ate, she would scoop a portion first and put it neatly aside especially for him. As he reached home, even though she already ate, she would sit in front of him throughout his meal. Entertaining him with small talks, even jokes. Perfect meal every time, how the table was set, food to his taste. Everyday without fail. I don't remember hearing him complaining. He was her KING.
She passed away when I was 25. And he was very sick at the time, his kidney failed 6 months before. The day she left us I cried hysterically. I couldn't stop crying for the whole week. But Abah, he was cool. Didn't shed single tear. In my midst of grief I thought, hmm... he's a cold one.
Some of y'all may not know, that whenever there's death in the house, we Malay people won't be doing any cooking, at least for a few days. Meals will be given to us by our neighbours, or even we get take-outs. I am not sure if this is by religion or tradition, but I followed it anyway. By the 4th day after her demise, I made us lunch. It was some kind of a whole-fish dish.
He was staring at the food... And said...
"the most thing that I would remember of your Mak was the way she served my every meal. You know, this fish, she would always separate the bones and pile it into my plate while I am eating..."
And he burst out crying. We spent the whole lunch time that afternoon crying at the dining table... and oh how I regretted thinking of him as cold before when actually the sadness that you couldn't ever imagine was eating him from inside.
Yes, she was ultimately his PERFECT WIFE.
He followed her about 6 months after. Somehow I knew in my heart he couldn't go on without her. Sadly I was expecting it.
Happy Birthday Mak & Abah, Al-Fatihah and prayers to you both.
Monday, February 9, 2009
i did a nasty...
Last weekend a friend sms me. Well he thought he's my friend. I have already got him DELETED. He said he's on his way to my place with his girlfriend. Like I give a shit. I didn't reply. Ten minutes later he was ringing my doorbell. Can you believe the nerve? It went on ringing for another 10-15 minutes. Followed by a few more sms and a few more -automatically-rejected- phone calls.
I kept quiet. Like a mouse. In my own home.
Now any of you out there who knows me, ever been treated this same way? If you had, please, do identify yourself.
I'm sure most of you who know me well would be shocked that I would do something THIS nasty to another person. Most of you would never expect me to be THIS mean. Yes y'all, it will take a lot for me to act the way I did. A LOT.
I can begin my story from a year ago, but hey I won't drag it back for too long. Let's just recall at a couple months back.
He was whining that he missed home cooked food. I told him -well, since I am moving close to his place why don't he just have dinner at my place any time he wishes ... my maid would not mind cooking a little bit extra... Gladly he said ok, and even eager to come every night! But, he never showed up. He would ask though, if we are preparing dinner or not, but he never ONCE showed up. A good friend as I am always, I considered maybe he's to tired to walk or drive his fancy sports car to my place after a long day at work. So once or twice, I would drop by his place & drop the food. Sometimes I would call him to remind him there's extra food, but he never replied back. If he replied he would sound annoyed. Stupid me never learn. Stupid me always wanted to be nice. Khalas I gave up accommodating the whiny kid.
Then another time he asked me out. For coffee. He said he missed me. We should catch up. He said he would pick me up in 40 minutes. So I showered, got ready, and an hour passed. Ok maybe he got caught up in something so I let another hour passed and I sms him. HE - NEVER - REPLIED. Not even a measly apology. Not even the next day. Khalas I promised myself never-ever-ever again that he would make me wait.
Soon after we were both invited to a mutual friend's house. So what did I do? I said hi with a smile and we hugged and he asked if I was mad at him for some reason. What... he's stupid? Amnesia? Had a blackout? Short-term memory lost? However I thought what the heck, I have known the guy since college! So I forgave him and told him that it didn't matter, it's in the past. Again stupid me giving him another bizzilionth chance that he doesn't deserve.
Not long after, he said he'd bring me to a fishing night out. Wow I got excited. Forgotten about the shit that he'd always done to me. I got ready.. put on my warm clothes, gloves, winter cap, and waited. He didn't show up, neither call, nor sms. At this point I didn't even bother to sms him.
He can go ahead and drop dead.
But ooooohhhh he called again. Asked me out for coffee. We went eventually, although he was late, I never expected much of him anyway so I choose to look past it. Then after a long chatty evening he eagerly suggested we should attend a Starbucks launching the next day after work. And yea... stupid-never-learnt-me never learnt my lessons. (LESSONSSSSS.. That's PLURAL!!!) And as y'all smart people might have guessed .. he stood me up again, with no calls, no sms, and no f**king apology.
Alas... he asked me if his girlfriend could bunk at my place for the weekend. Sweet.
"Sure... re-confirm ok?" was my last words to him.
So y'all... still think I am a mean bitch?
(I won't ask y'all if y'all think that I am STUPID... we established that already... still kicking myself on the butt-cheek over it... :P)
I kept quiet. Like a mouse. In my own home.
Now any of you out there who knows me, ever been treated this same way? If you had, please, do identify yourself.
I'm sure most of you who know me well would be shocked that I would do something THIS nasty to another person. Most of you would never expect me to be THIS mean. Yes y'all, it will take a lot for me to act the way I did. A LOT.
I can begin my story from a year ago, but hey I won't drag it back for too long. Let's just recall at a couple months back.
He was whining that he missed home cooked food. I told him -well, since I am moving close to his place why don't he just have dinner at my place any time he wishes ... my maid would not mind cooking a little bit extra... Gladly he said ok, and even eager to come every night! But, he never showed up. He would ask though, if we are preparing dinner or not, but he never ONCE showed up. A good friend as I am always, I considered maybe he's to tired to walk or drive his fancy sports car to my place after a long day at work. So once or twice, I would drop by his place & drop the food. Sometimes I would call him to remind him there's extra food, but he never replied back. If he replied he would sound annoyed. Stupid me never learn. Stupid me always wanted to be nice. Khalas I gave up accommodating the whiny kid.
Then another time he asked me out. For coffee. He said he missed me. We should catch up. He said he would pick me up in 40 minutes. So I showered, got ready, and an hour passed. Ok maybe he got caught up in something so I let another hour passed and I sms him. HE - NEVER - REPLIED. Not even a measly apology. Not even the next day. Khalas I promised myself never-ever-ever again that he would make me wait.
Soon after we were both invited to a mutual friend's house. So what did I do? I said hi with a smile and we hugged and he asked if I was mad at him for some reason. What... he's stupid? Amnesia? Had a blackout? Short-term memory lost? However I thought what the heck, I have known the guy since college! So I forgave him and told him that it didn't matter, it's in the past. Again stupid me giving him another bizzilionth chance that he doesn't deserve.
Not long after, he said he'd bring me to a fishing night out. Wow I got excited. Forgotten about the shit that he'd always done to me. I got ready.. put on my warm clothes, gloves, winter cap, and waited. He didn't show up, neither call, nor sms. At this point I didn't even bother to sms him.
He can go ahead and drop dead.
But ooooohhhh he called again. Asked me out for coffee. We went eventually, although he was late, I never expected much of him anyway so I choose to look past it. Then after a long chatty evening he eagerly suggested we should attend a Starbucks launching the next day after work. And yea... stupid-never-learnt-me never learnt my lessons. (LESSONSSSSS.. That's PLURAL!!!) And as y'all smart people might have guessed .. he stood me up again, with no calls, no sms, and no f**king apology.
Alas... he asked me if his girlfriend could bunk at my place for the weekend. Sweet.
"Sure... re-confirm ok?" was my last words to him.
So y'all... still think I am a mean bitch?
(I won't ask y'all if y'all think that I am STUPID... we established that already... still kicking myself on the butt-cheek over it... :P)
that thing called 'friends'
My mother scolded me once a many times that I was 'too giving' towards my friends. 'With your friends, as if you are going to lick them' were her words, clearly she's annoyed. I hated it so much. As I saw it at the time, why not be kind? Why not be nice ? What's wrong if I so wanted to please them? What's wrong being a truly good friend? Clearly she meant to say DON'T. That was when I was below 10 yrs of age. I will be 39 next month, I guess at this age I should be wise enough, and lately these words coming back to me so clearly... Suddenly they're starting to make a lot of senses... She just didn't want me to get hurt.
I was not that stupid to understand it, but I merely chose to ignore it all this while. Now after times & times & times again getting stabbed & kicked & punched from all sides till I was left bleeding, bruised, black and blue, now I chose to open my eyes to see it. Only NOW.
I know to those who I called friends, I am a true friend to them. Well they kept me a long time. Maz & I, we've been friends for 35 years. Noe & I, we been enjoying each other's company more than 20 years. Noli, Fad, Liza & I are in love for 20 years now. Daniel, well he's 'young' but already in my life for 8 wonderful & learning years... 8 years could be a lifetime for some people, but to me, it's a still very fresh & budding friendship.
You might ask.. only these people?
Yes, the ones I truly claimed true friends of mine. Yes we hurt each other once in a while, but we treasured each other so much that we kissed & patched the wound quickly. Sealed the dark moments and take the good to cover the bad. Tears shared. Ofcourse laughters more. I am in their hearts as they are in mine. And I thought my mother's statements were not exactly true.
Now that I moved my life to another country, I never felt lonelier. It's not that I can't make new acquaintances, this actually comes easy to me. Too easy sometimes. People usually get attached to me very quickly. In an instant even. But to achieve the deep meaning of friendship, so far it's looking rather bleak. Some read my kindness as annoyance. Some used it to their advantages. Some think I am too kind that - am I for real?? (I am not too kind, honestly I am just being a HUMAN). Some even think I was plotting an evil agenda. I met a lot of whom I naively thought really nice people, being my true self around them, but I ended up bruised again. Yes, my mother was right allllllll the time.
Maybe people nowadays are not how they are used to be... maybe everybody now is only for themselves. I am at the point where I became so concious about talking to people, smile, even to make eye contacts. I should stay away. I should be allert of those invisible electric fences that people built around them. Unconciously I am myself building a wall and the wall is getting thicker.
I really dislike the person that I am becoming.
Whoa boy I really need a "friend fix". But where to get it?
I was not that stupid to understand it, but I merely chose to ignore it all this while. Now after times & times & times again getting stabbed & kicked & punched from all sides till I was left bleeding, bruised, black and blue, now I chose to open my eyes to see it. Only NOW.
I know to those who I called friends, I am a true friend to them. Well they kept me a long time. Maz & I, we've been friends for 35 years. Noe & I, we been enjoying each other's company more than 20 years. Noli, Fad, Liza & I are in love for 20 years now. Daniel, well he's 'young' but already in my life for 8 wonderful & learning years... 8 years could be a lifetime for some people, but to me, it's a still very fresh & budding friendship.
You might ask.. only these people?
Yes, the ones I truly claimed true friends of mine. Yes we hurt each other once in a while, but we treasured each other so much that we kissed & patched the wound quickly. Sealed the dark moments and take the good to cover the bad. Tears shared. Ofcourse laughters more. I am in their hearts as they are in mine. And I thought my mother's statements were not exactly true.
Now that I moved my life to another country, I never felt lonelier. It's not that I can't make new acquaintances, this actually comes easy to me. Too easy sometimes. People usually get attached to me very quickly. In an instant even. But to achieve the deep meaning of friendship, so far it's looking rather bleak. Some read my kindness as annoyance. Some used it to their advantages. Some think I am too kind that - am I for real?? (I am not too kind, honestly I am just being a HUMAN). Some even think I was plotting an evil agenda. I met a lot of whom I naively thought really nice people, being my true self around them, but I ended up bruised again. Yes, my mother was right allllllll the time.
Maybe people nowadays are not how they are used to be... maybe everybody now is only for themselves. I am at the point where I became so concious about talking to people, smile, even to make eye contacts. I should stay away. I should be allert of those invisible electric fences that people built around them. Unconciously I am myself building a wall and the wall is getting thicker.
I really dislike the person that I am becoming.
Whoa boy I really need a "friend fix". But where to get it?
Monday, December 15, 2008
Ugur + Rodie + 2 Hours In The Gardens Traffic
We left the office 5.30 as usual, and headed straight to the Gardens, and he would drop me at the Ibn Batuta Mall so that i can get a cab easier. This has been going on for two months now. And we are more relaxed with our languages now to each other since it's just the two of us in the car (and by saying that, meaning all the vulgarities flying all over the car interior u have to fumigate the car after we got out!!) It was always fun and funny.
But today it was MIND BLOW-ING.
**don't get excited over the word in CAPS ok...it could be of bizzilions other meanings - wink**
We started to talk about TV shows - well - he started it by singing 'Smelly Cat' and we laughed like crazy. And we spoke of the scenes and characters that we love and hate from 'Friends'. The difference between the 3 guys & the 3 chics when they were talking about Ross+Rachel's first kiss. Then we moved on to Seinfield, we both love Kramer... then we start reminiscing the younger years when there was 'Cheers'. He mentioned he was in the 'Cheers' bar when he was in the USA a few years back, and i told him i love it so much i even memorised the theme song by heart. He asked me to sing it and spontaneously turned off the radio...
Makin a way in a world today takes everything u got
Takin a break from all your worries surely would helped a lot
Wouldn't u like to get away?
Sometimes u wanna go
Where everybody knows your name
And they always glad u came
U wanna be where u can see
That troubles are all the same
U wanna be where everybody knows your name
U wanna go where people know
That people are all the same
U wanna go where everybody knows your name....
We even sang the last verse together. Had a little Ugur-Rodie moment there (don't kill me y'all!!!)
Then we went back to 'Friends' and we agreed that no matter how many times we watched it we still laughed the same way. And he said the other one that he love to follow was 'Sex & The City'. Oh i said... i thought guys HATE S.A.T.C, laughingly he said yes, that's why he followed it!
And... that was the point where Ugur should change his career to become a public speaking GURU (one with a very SEXAY Turkish accent). I am telling y'all... that man has some phenomenal (that word again) theories!
He told me that the only reason he's following the S.A.T.C is because of 'Big'. according to him, 'Big' should be the role model of all men, on how to deal with the female spiecies. 'Big' is not ruled by anyone, 'Big' came & went as he wished and got Carrie wrapped around his finger, playing her on a string. 'Big' put his woman in the place WHERE THEY SHOULD BE. 'Big' might be in love... but he doesn't give a f***.
Ok maybe some of you never watched the S.A.T.C. Ok move on to his next theory.
To him, when a guy is thinking he is smarter than the female sitting across him, he could be the biggest idiot in the world. Yep... IDIOT was his very word. Why.. u might ask..
Because, if any men should've known better, the female spiecies are the BEST at playing dumb. If a guy thinks that he is smarter and winning, that means that the girl actually manipulate him to think that he is smarter and winning .... so that he would be totally oblivious when she took 'the driver's seat' ... therefore as a matter of fact-ly, she's actually the winning one!
And according to Ugur, the smartest girl ever - is the girl who knows how to make her man thinks that he is with THE IDEA and THE DECISION... when in fact THE IDEA and THE DECISION are all HERS!!!
Next, he said a guy should carry a pint of blood in his pocket at all times. Because?
When a guy is having a hard on, all the blood in his body went rushing to 'there' (he was actually gesturing towards his 'there'!! i almost passed out!!!) So there will be none left to function the brain. And therefore the man is the most useless creature at this point. A total wreck to mankind. Whatever his actions during this time is all controlled by a woman. He is merely a puppet to be played and abused. So, should the guy carry around a pint of blood in his pocket all the time, he could have immediate blood transfusion. Hence while having a hard-on, there's still be sufficient blood supply for him to function the brain!!!!
Mannn I LOVE THIS GUY!!!!
Although i still think he's a CHAUVINIST PIG. Big time...
But today it was MIND BLOW-ING.
**don't get excited over the word in CAPS ok...it could be of bizzilions other meanings - wink**
We started to talk about TV shows - well - he started it by singing 'Smelly Cat' and we laughed like crazy. And we spoke of the scenes and characters that we love and hate from 'Friends'. The difference between the 3 guys & the 3 chics when they were talking about Ross+Rachel's first kiss. Then we moved on to Seinfield, we both love Kramer... then we start reminiscing the younger years when there was 'Cheers'. He mentioned he was in the 'Cheers' bar when he was in the USA a few years back, and i told him i love it so much i even memorised the theme song by heart. He asked me to sing it and spontaneously turned off the radio...
Makin a way in a world today takes everything u got
Takin a break from all your worries surely would helped a lot
Wouldn't u like to get away?
Sometimes u wanna go
Where everybody knows your name
And they always glad u came
U wanna be where u can see
That troubles are all the same
U wanna be where everybody knows your name
U wanna go where people know
That people are all the same
U wanna go where everybody knows your name....
We even sang the last verse together. Had a little Ugur-Rodie moment there (don't kill me y'all!!!)
Then we went back to 'Friends' and we agreed that no matter how many times we watched it we still laughed the same way. And he said the other one that he love to follow was 'Sex & The City'. Oh i said... i thought guys HATE S.A.T.C, laughingly he said yes, that's why he followed it!
And... that was the point where Ugur should change his career to become a public speaking GURU (one with a very SEXAY Turkish accent). I am telling y'all... that man has some phenomenal (that word again) theories!
He told me that the only reason he's following the S.A.T.C is because of 'Big'. according to him, 'Big' should be the role model of all men, on how to deal with the female spiecies. 'Big' is not ruled by anyone, 'Big' came & went as he wished and got Carrie wrapped around his finger, playing her on a string. 'Big' put his woman in the place WHERE THEY SHOULD BE. 'Big' might be in love... but he doesn't give a f***.
Ok maybe some of you never watched the S.A.T.C. Ok move on to his next theory.
To him, when a guy is thinking he is smarter than the female sitting across him, he could be the biggest idiot in the world. Yep... IDIOT was his very word. Why.. u might ask..
Because, if any men should've known better, the female spiecies are the BEST at playing dumb. If a guy thinks that he is smarter and winning, that means that the girl actually manipulate him to think that he is smarter and winning .... so that he would be totally oblivious when she took 'the driver's seat' ... therefore as a matter of fact-ly, she's actually the winning one!
And according to Ugur, the smartest girl ever - is the girl who knows how to make her man thinks that he is with THE IDEA and THE DECISION... when in fact THE IDEA and THE DECISION are all HERS!!!
Next, he said a guy should carry a pint of blood in his pocket at all times. Because?
When a guy is having a hard on, all the blood in his body went rushing to 'there' (he was actually gesturing towards his 'there'!! i almost passed out!!!) So there will be none left to function the brain. And therefore the man is the most useless creature at this point. A total wreck to mankind. Whatever his actions during this time is all controlled by a woman. He is merely a puppet to be played and abused. So, should the guy carry around a pint of blood in his pocket all the time, he could have immediate blood transfusion. Hence while having a hard-on, there's still be sufficient blood supply for him to function the brain!!!!
Mannn I LOVE THIS GUY!!!!
Although i still think he's a CHAUVINIST PIG. Big time...
Sunday, December 14, 2008
the philosopher
let me take a friend's smart ass quote and twist it around.
life is complicated as u make it.
life is a bloody drama as u make it.
life is a bitch as u make it.
life is worthless as u make it.
key word - u make it. your choice. your decision to jump. so don't blame the rest of the world that u tried and failed. blame yourself for choosing that path u took. take the downside of your own choice, your own make & your own decision like a MAN. face the consequences. have some f**king balls.
u choose to live a complicated life, hence failed, hey don't bitch about it. don't fret. don't bring the rest of the world down with u. stop bein a f**king whiner. shut-the-f**k-up.
simple huh ... simple my a**!!
life is complicated as u make it.
life is a bloody drama as u make it.
life is a bitch as u make it.
life is worthless as u make it.
key word - u make it. your choice. your decision to jump. so don't blame the rest of the world that u tried and failed. blame yourself for choosing that path u took. take the downside of your own choice, your own make & your own decision like a MAN. face the consequences. have some f**king balls.
u choose to live a complicated life, hence failed, hey don't bitch about it. don't fret. don't bring the rest of the world down with u. stop bein a f**king whiner. shut-the-f**k-up.
simple huh ... simple my a**!!
Friday, October 24, 2008
How have I been doing?
Maybe it is time to update uols about my on-goings in Dubai.
As everyone knows, my girls already started school, in their second month now, and coping very well (thank God al-mighty) despite the major change. Yes there were a little bit struggling in language & communication with Dania but not so much for Marsya & Alya. And even so, Dania is starting to get popular amongst her classmates, effortlessly, like how she was when we were back home, language barrier or not.
As for me... all of u might think i would be driving myself insane right about now with the office, and the girls and school meetings and homeworks and errands and chores huh...?
As one of my dearest friends said & i quote "Life is as simple as you make it"... and i could never agree more.
All of u may not believe it that at least a couple of nights in a week i would take a couple of hours to chill, or shisha or supper or coffee with some close friends, or have a little window shopping by my self (in which ofcouse i never fail to shop for something pretty & silly), or even sweating at the gym! And so far I haven't missed helping the girls with their homeworks, and i haven't skipped any of the PTA meetings! Supermom huh? Not really.
SIMPLE AS U MAKE IT.
Yea ok, i have a maid, so all of the cooking and cleaning considered solved. And i noticed a lot of my friends with maids.... maaaan aren't they BUSY dictating the maids! Hovering over them like a hawk!! I mean they are much busier now then they were before they have the maids!
Girls please, the maids are there to help you ease the burden and the stress.... not to add them! And noooooo i don't need anymore stress in my life ... I want to stay young much longer!! Yes yes i had maids before who betrayed me and ran away with the uncle next door, so yea we meet shitty people every now and then, but i do believe a little kindness goes a long long way. So, i just briefed my maid only once, and more than a few times she would ask questions and how to do's, and i treat her kindly, in return she's appreciating it and she looks happy.... therefore so far the girls are so well fed, my home spick and span and voluntarily she would join my girls with artworks, paintings and games. Ofcourse I would join them too and have our many little laughs everytime.
That's a lot of stress lifted. And many wrinkles postponed!
Next, the girls went to bed at 9pm. Hey after 9pm i still can do a lot with myself till my bedtime! But yea i don't overdo it ofcourse, i was never a 'party-mom'. But i like to have my fun. I love a night out once in a while. Real conversation with some educated adults. Meet new interesting people.
And my weekends? I went out every weekend with the girls. Malls usually. Or a close friend's house. And once we went to see live band in Hard Rock Cafe (they wanted to go again!) And some of my dearest friends really didn't mind and even love having them over or join our weekends gatherings. One of my friend told me that 'ur kids can really hang-out with adults' ... She's really bias cos she adores them too much.... but then again my girls are very well behaved so i guess she's being true as well.
And to have a 4 year old girl u might think i have tons to carry yea... coz she actually still a baby...
I learnt to have an easy life. From the time Dania was born, never again i bring the whole household in a huge bag when i am travelling. It will be just a bottle of warm milk, a piece of diaper, a little towel and a pair of pants and blouse should she make a mess. All all these stuffed inside my trendy sling bag, or their fluffy rucksack. Now that Alya is four, these items becoming lesser & lesser! Hey there's public toilets, and there's supermarket everywhere that u can get fresh milk from, thank God for modern amenities!!!! So instead of stressing myself carrying my whole household and worrying and worrying, i usually travel light & easy, and most importantly have as much fun as possible! Isn't that the reason why you have a day out with your children???
Hey making it easy doesn't make u a lesser parent ok?
As everyone knows, my girls already started school, in their second month now, and coping very well (thank God al-mighty) despite the major change. Yes there were a little bit struggling in language & communication with Dania but not so much for Marsya & Alya. And even so, Dania is starting to get popular amongst her classmates, effortlessly, like how she was when we were back home, language barrier or not.
As for me... all of u might think i would be driving myself insane right about now with the office, and the girls and school meetings and homeworks and errands and chores huh...?
As one of my dearest friends said & i quote "Life is as simple as you make it"... and i could never agree more.
All of u may not believe it that at least a couple of nights in a week i would take a couple of hours to chill, or shisha or supper or coffee with some close friends, or have a little window shopping by my self (in which ofcouse i never fail to shop for something pretty & silly), or even sweating at the gym! And so far I haven't missed helping the girls with their homeworks, and i haven't skipped any of the PTA meetings! Supermom huh? Not really.
SIMPLE AS U MAKE IT.
Yea ok, i have a maid, so all of the cooking and cleaning considered solved. And i noticed a lot of my friends with maids.... maaaan aren't they BUSY dictating the maids! Hovering over them like a hawk!! I mean they are much busier now then they were before they have the maids!
Girls please, the maids are there to help you ease the burden and the stress.... not to add them! And noooooo i don't need anymore stress in my life ... I want to stay young much longer!! Yes yes i had maids before who betrayed me and ran away with the uncle next door, so yea we meet shitty people every now and then, but i do believe a little kindness goes a long long way. So, i just briefed my maid only once, and more than a few times she would ask questions and how to do's, and i treat her kindly, in return she's appreciating it and she looks happy.... therefore so far the girls are so well fed, my home spick and span and voluntarily she would join my girls with artworks, paintings and games. Ofcourse I would join them too and have our many little laughs everytime.
That's a lot of stress lifted. And many wrinkles postponed!
Next, the girls went to bed at 9pm. Hey after 9pm i still can do a lot with myself till my bedtime! But yea i don't overdo it ofcourse, i was never a 'party-mom'. But i like to have my fun. I love a night out once in a while. Real conversation with some educated adults. Meet new interesting people.
And my weekends? I went out every weekend with the girls. Malls usually. Or a close friend's house. And once we went to see live band in Hard Rock Cafe (they wanted to go again!) And some of my dearest friends really didn't mind and even love having them over or join our weekends gatherings. One of my friend told me that 'ur kids can really hang-out with adults' ... She's really bias cos she adores them too much.... but then again my girls are very well behaved so i guess she's being true as well.
And to have a 4 year old girl u might think i have tons to carry yea... coz she actually still a baby...
I learnt to have an easy life. From the time Dania was born, never again i bring the whole household in a huge bag when i am travelling. It will be just a bottle of warm milk, a piece of diaper, a little towel and a pair of pants and blouse should she make a mess. All all these stuffed inside my trendy sling bag, or their fluffy rucksack. Now that Alya is four, these items becoming lesser & lesser! Hey there's public toilets, and there's supermarket everywhere that u can get fresh milk from, thank God for modern amenities!!!! So instead of stressing myself carrying my whole household and worrying and worrying, i usually travel light & easy, and most importantly have as much fun as possible! Isn't that the reason why you have a day out with your children???
Hey making it easy doesn't make u a lesser parent ok?
Monday, October 6, 2008
Told ya..
Remember the blue pet fish that i mentioned? And the little grave in the flower pot? And its little tombstone made of eraser?Like some of you, i couldn't believe that my ex-colleagues still kept it there. Although the bamboo plant in the pot not looking as nice as before, the little grave still in place.
So there it is, for you to see.
Therefore i would like to thank all my ex-colleagues back in KL, for keeping the memories of US alive.
Love u too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
