rewards

I woke up at 5am this morning as usual... thinking hard of what to make for breakfast and the girls' lunch-pack. And the trip to Abu Dhabi. And the crappy site office. And the vicious heat of summer. And the meeting at Karama that I have to attend after work. And the shop drawings I have to mark. And the still unfinished drawings that's nearing deadline. And the sketches I have to do that I have to send to the draughtsman. Oooh the list went on & on!

Then Marsya emerged from the room, already dressed in her school uniform. She began to clean the last night's dishes, as she does every morning. Alya woke up shortly after, and asked if she could have scramble eggs for the lunch pack. Of course - I told her, and start to look for the milk in the fridge. (I usually add a bit of milk to the eggs - it tastes nicer that way). We were out of milk - great.

Not a reason at all to get upset, but I did... adding up to the list of worries I had earlier.  NOT gonna be a good morning - I thought.

Then Marsya started cleaning the lunch-boxes. Alya's one was still full of yesterday's pasta. I questioned the sleepy girl why didn't she eat the pasta, and she told me one of her friends shared his food with her. ANOTHER reason not to get upset - but I was fuming. I yelled at her telling the 8 years old how tired I was preparing food that she never ate. She shed some little tears... and went to her room obediently to get ready for school.

Then for some reason my eyes went focused to the dusty breakfast counter. I told Marsya to wipe it off. She did it, ofcourse not perfectly, but of course AGAIN not a reason to get upset but I, almost yelling - told her to clean it properly and don't try to make me scream. She spent 10 minutes wiping the counter shiny, and I don't know why I was so annoyed by that, I, almost yelling again, told her that she should not spend 'hours' on the counter alone.

The girls were quiet on the breakfast table, and I went to get ready. As I was rushing out the door, Alya showed me 'the crescent moon' she made with the paratha on her plate. I kissed her on the head and told her how pretty it was.

That she said the sweetest thing ....

"Mama, you know the green tea-bag tag, it's written there - 'after work, take a bubble bath so you will feel relaxed'..."

A tip for me ya'ani.

Unlike my ex-husband or my ex-boyfriends - she UNDERSTANDS.

Later I reached Abu Dhabi and realized I didn't leave the empty drinking water bottle outside for the water delivery guy. Argh so there would be no drinking water for us for whole the next week - I thought. It's not the end of the world, 1 week of tap water won't do any harm but I was so annoyed with myself & getting super upset. Fuming fuming fuming. And work stress was not helping either.

Come late afternoon I called home to check on the girls, and Marsya picked up the phone and told me she used 10aed from the money I left them to pay for the water delivery. So there will be drinking water supply for us. What a clever, clever girl.

I under estimated her. She is a very mature, smart, independent and responsible young lady. Much more than me.

I am so blessed.

Do I deserve it? After all the yelling and breaking their innocent little hearts earlier... I don't think so.

This weekend, I will behave and be a good mama.